Jono Bacon to be replaced with a small shell script

Inside sources at Canonical report to me that due to the global financial crisis and a desire to become profitable, Canonical will be replacing Jono Bacon with a shell script.

It has become increasingly apparent over the years that all Jono really does is post random crap to his blog, play bad music loudly and drop his pants in public. All except the last one can be performed today using a few lines of basic shell script at a significantly lower cost.